As I struggle with coming to terms with my Mother and immediate visual challenges, other events have horrible impacts that send shivers down my spine. A fire breaks out in my aunt’s home, and my Uncle Bud, along with four cousins, burn to death. I try to turn off my brain and try to flush the scary thoughts from my mind. But, I can’t help imagining how horrifying it must have been to actually see and smell charred human flesh, and what such incineration would be like, particularly for my poor little cousins. My school has an incinerator and the thought of being trapped inside with the burning flames horrifies me. “Oh, God,” I think, “Why!” I keep asking myself, “Who can be blamed? Why would a loving God permit such suffering to happen?”