Other shadowy characters are the legendary Mr. Hugs and his powerful and rich brother-in-law, Mr. Neurotic. Gossip spreads the rumors that their families got their start by discreetly listening to gangsters in the 1930s while they shined their shoes, overhearing horse racing and other gambling tips as they eavesdropped and polished their expensive leather. Then, the story goes, they parlayed this income into a fortune.
The wild cards in this mix are Mr. Hugs’ wife, Rosemary; her sister , Virginia (who is married to Mr. Neurotic;) and Mr. Hugs’ two daughters, Tony and DD. The way they hug and kiss all over me, I think the four ladies are kind of infatuated with me. Mr. Hugs’ brunette daughter, Tony wears glasses and comes on to me like waves rolling toward the shore, but I don’t respond or flirt back because I resist women who wear glasses. I know this is because people with glasses remind me of my own vision deficiencies. However, to my disappointment the prettier blonde, DD shows no interest other than friendship.
Well, I’ve been invited to meet Mr. Hugs in his elegant mansion. Once inside, he throws his arms around me and gives me a big bear hug like I was a lifelong friend (hence the pseudonym Mr. Hugs).
“Richard!” He says, “After all of the praise from my wife and daughters, I feel like we’ve known each other for years!”
As Mr. Hugs hugs me yet again and pats my back, I envision this jovial guy putting the hurt on some poor slob in a less-than-jovial manner. I’m not kidding; this thought really gives me a chill.Entertain, Learn the Longitudinal One-Handed Strip Out